It is truly one of the most vile gestures one can encounter in this world—being used, being walked all over, dragged through the dirt by those who should’ve had your back. To give and give, offering your heart, your support, your soul to people who claim to love you, only to watch them stand by as you fall apart. They don’t care. In fact, they see you fall and keep walking, pretending it’s not happening. You’re left on the ground, bleeding, gasping for air, but even then, they won’t stop to help. No, they’ll keep on—spitting lies, slandering your name, tearing apart your character, distorting the truth until you’re barely recognizable to those who once cared for you.
And what do they do when they’ve dragged your reputation through the mud? They look at you, filled with accusations, full of judgment. They call you out, saying you’re doing nothing for them, all the while their hands are stained with the same dirt they’ve buried you in. They’ll belittle you, degrade you, and yet, they’ll wonder aloud—why is my life such a mess?
It’s the harsh reality of life: you are being paid back for what you’ve done, for the debts you owe. And what’s truly tragic? Those who stood by your side, offered their unwavering loyalty, their time, their love, are often the first ones to be forgotten. They give, they give until there’s nothing left of them to give, but in return, they get nothing but insults, lies, and neglect.
We have to understand this simple truth: people don’t owe you anything. If they show up for you in your darkest moments, if they drop everything to help you when you’re drowning, you better appreciate them. Because those are the people who will never be there when you’ve burned your bridges and are left with nothing but the wreckage of your own making. Those people will disappear, and you’ll be left wondering why.
You will regret how you treated those who truly cared. Because no one is permanent in your life. The ones you treated like trash will walk away, and they will not come back. The people you used and abused, the ones who were always there for you, will vanish, and you’ll be alone. And when that happens, you’ll understand too late—it was never them. It was always you.
Remember, life has a way of paying back what you owe. And when it does, the consequences are far worse than you could ever imagine.
There are moments in life when you realize just how much damage people can do to you—how they can break you, humiliate you, destroy every bit of your spirit, and walk away without a second thought. And then, you start to ask yourself, Why do I keep giving them my time? Why do I let them in, only for them to tear me down like this?
I’ve learned the hard way. If someone has the power to break you, to tear apart everything you’ve built inside of yourself, to step on you, to use you, to leave you in pieces while they walk away unscathed—then they don’t deserve a place in your life. And I mean any place. Not even a single moment of your energy or your time.
You start to understand that it’s a cruel game for some people. They’ll take your kindness, your trust, your love, and they’ll twist it into something ugly. They’ll use you until they’ve drained you, until there’s nothing left to give. And when you’re broken, when you’ve given everything you can, they’ll turn their backs on you and act as if you were never anything to them. They’ll forget your sacrifices, your loyalty, and your love. And in the end, you’ll be left in pieces, wondering where you went wrong.
But here’s what I’ve learned: You are not required to stay in a place where you are constantly being torn apart. If someone treats you like you don’t matter, like you’re nothing more than an option when it’s convenient for them, then it’s time to walk away. You don’t owe them anything, not your forgiveness, not your heart, not your soul.
The truth is, when someone’s heart goes cold toward you, it’s a sign. A sign that maybe it’s time to return the favor. They’ve taken your warmth, your love, and they’ve thrown it away, so why should you continue offering them your kindness? You don’t have to be cruel, but you don’t have to be a fool either. When people hurt you, you don’t need to beg for their attention or approval. Instead, you can give them to God. You can forgive them, but that doesn’t mean you let them back into your life.
I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t about giving someone another chance to hurt you. Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger, the bitterness, the chains they’ve placed on your heart. But you can forgive and still walk away. You can let them go and protect your peace.
You don’t have to be the same person with them after they’ve destroyed you. You can pray for them, wish them well, and hope that they find the peace they’re clearly lacking—but you are never obligated to let them back into your life. Once someone has shown you who they are, believe them.
Never forget this: the moment someone shows you who they truly are—whether it’s through betrayal, lies, or mistreatment—that’s the moment you need to walk away. Protect your heart, protect your peace, and remember that no one has the right to break you. You are stronger than they could ever understand.
I’ve learned that the pain of being used, being lied to, being manipulated, is a lesson that, although harsh, will make you wiser. It teaches you that your worth isn’t tied to how others treat you. It’s about how you treat yourself. And when people treat you as if you mean nothing, that’s the time you need to stand up and say: I am not for you. I am not a doormat for you to walk all over.
You will heal. You will grow. And you will never let anyone destroy you again.
© 2001 Santiago D.C. Maria. All Rights Reserved.
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